As a cycle of life, I found broken heart as a perfection. Paradoxical perfection, of course. It keeps my feeling in good harmony. Meaning, my heart still function well enough. It gives blessing, it learn to let go, to accept, to be happy for.
Risk is part of being human, part of being the stakeholder. I decided to watch people dance and step out of my own dance. Sit by with other who only watch. Some of them who don’t want the dance feel fulfilled with what ever they’re doing on their seat. Me on the other hand, just want to sit because I’m tired of dancing to long. Waiting to have my energy back to get on the dance stage and dance my last dance with my last partner.
As I rest, my partner will also rest. We both looking for the next partner, with different approach, different dancing style. If both of us didn’t find anyone, we’ll of course dance together again.
I had fun. Joining my friends that were also sitting and watching people. Hoping to get back on the dance stage soon. Me? I’m just hanging out with people with small chance to get back on the dance stage soon enough.
One of them, my favorite friend, has just left me for the dance stage when I go to the bathroom. That friend is not there when I take my seat and that friend, my friend, is just smile and wave. As a friend, I nod along and smile.
Sitting on the side, figuring out what to do. Looking for someone to mend, looking for someone to fill the seat that friend left. Because I’m still not ready to go back to the dance stage. To much to do in this seat.
Uncomfortable, yes. Anxious, of course. Feeling alone, sometimes. But, when it’s time to go dancing, I won’t resist. I’ll do the dance.
